Neil Young will you help me escape america?

i am most certainly fucked in the head
and veronica is hobbling. i am soul sick.
and the ghosts are hovering.

my radiator is singing me a bjork song.

i dreamt the other night about a long systems of man made caves. my family and i visited the caves as a tourist attraction. once we got inside i became increasingly scared. the cave was a series of rectangle rooms of various sizes which contained bizarre obstacles. at one point i decided i couldn't go on and i separated from my family. i was eventually lost and the entrances became increasingly tight and more complicated. I ended up stuck by a difficult and tedious puzzle that prevented me from entering the next room. i kept knocking the wooden pieces all over the very small space around me and i was crying. i started panicking because i thought I would never get out. Then some girls appeared out of nowhere. They lived in cave and wore dresses and i calmed down.
i can't really explain what that means but most likely it is really deep.


april and the phantom - animal collective
foxy and the weight of the world - black moth super rainbow + octopus project
our house - phantom planet
i'm sorry i sang on your hands that have been in the grave - sunset rubdown



"I almost came as a shark actually, but then I realized an eagle's slightly better."
shark vs. eagle

sometimes i feel briefly empowered by my impotent rage.

1.
when i awoke this morning
i became aware of the depravity
that had ensued the night previous
there is nothing to be done
but clean up the mess
or lie in bed for the rest of the day
wondering in vain why i am so vain
and why there are ashes all over my kitchen table.

2.
it was all going well
until it wasn't
& then a clang of percussion
shouting ensued
i yelled loudly in the taxi
and the driver made you promise
i wouldn't vomit.


references:
tears, stupid tears by daniel johnston
emily by shocking pinks
ballad of jim jones by the brian jonestown massacre
home of the brave by spiritualized
creep by radiohead

see also:
the coal miner's daughter
"I done wrote me a song Betty Sue. Your mama dadgome songwriter now."

literally nothing has changed. well, now i get drunk and weird at a bar instead of at home.

recap of time lapsed.
- madness ensued in the following places: my apartment, the four, the oriental theatre, my work, other people's apartments, fake graveyards, etc.
- i fell in love with: many new friends, daniel richter, karen dalton, ingmar bergman, the new york times crossword puzzle.
- the world continues to follow the laws of physics by both constructing and deconstructing itself everyday.

two short poems:
1.
there is nothing to be said
about these days
of endless nighttimes
just edging towards the absurd
we wander the streets madly
with a fury that resembles youth
but it is the inevitable prediction
that nothing good can come of this.

2.
I cannot describe the manic
expression of drunken young men
on tables performing
strange homoerotic antics
with bare chests a beating

see:
wake up by shocking pinks
thieves like us by new order
dear prudence the beatles
where damage isn't already done by radio dept.

everyday should be a sunglass party.