Current Negative Proclivities:

1. Television.

2. Anxiety

3. Self doubt

4. Drinking and puzzles

had a lovely dream last night. sigh and swoon. feel much better even though it was not real.

return to hot chicken - yo la tengo

If I had to say one nice thing about death it would be that dirt smells nice and if I had to smell something for a long time dirt would be a lovely choice.

please, see:

Here She Comes Now - Velvet Underground

Thank You For the Days - The Kinks

Hearts of Iron - Handsome Furs

Where Angels Go Trouble Follows - Tommy Boyce & Bobby Hart

Echo in Your Mind - Susan Christie

There is doom heavy hanging with the garland.

Perhaps it is just the guilt of someone that is being taught life

lessons that they are unable to grasp, still.

but oh thank you velvet underground.

A surprising number of human beings are without purpose, though it is probable that they are performing some function unknown to themselves. - Picnic at Hanging Rock

see:

ashley by the dodos

for emma by bon iver

emily by john cale

suzanne by leonard cohen

i am a lone wolf.

same as it ever was.

I find it difficult to reach a froth anymore.

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We Real Cool - Gwendolyn Brooks

We real cool. We

Left school. We

Lurk late. We

Strike straight. We

Sing sin. We

Thin gin. We

Jazz June. We

Die soon.

*******I love that poem. I am pretty sure it has saved my sanity on several separate occasions.

see Shift (Circlesquare Remix) - Grizzly Bear

Alive and watching Chevy Chase movies.

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why
Edna St. Vincent Millay

What lips my lips have kissed, and where, and why,
I have forgotten, and what arms have lain
Under my head till morning; but the rain
Is full of ghosts tonight, that tap and sigh
Upon the glass and listen for reply,
And in my heart there stirs a quiet pain
For unremembered lads that not again
Will turn to me at midnight with a cry.
Thus in the winter stands the lonely tree,
Nor knows what birds have vanished one by one,
Yet knows its boughs more silent than before:
I cannot say what loves have come and gone,
I only know that summer sang in me
A little while, that in me sings no more.

oh, for heaven's sake.

i will sleep when i am dead...
or when i run out of things that amuse me

stay with me - spiritualized
little kids - deerhunter
itchycoo Park - the small faces
rabbit dog needs food right away - deerhoof
its coming down - cake

"No, sweetie. Maybe she is right. Maybe this IS fabulous."
- Absolutely Fabulous

The snow
leaves me cold
as the evening
dissipates
every room, empty air
long pieces of time consumed by the deadening
thrust
of the television
its easy to ignore the wicked past
and so far that's the only plan I have.

I have been angrily anthropomorphizing objects
in my way, doing violence to them
with a furious energy
usually reserved for snide & unfeeling people.

see left & right of the moon - the warlocks
for emma - bon iver