veronica vaughn is sick.
she is making me very sad.

"...so what i am thinking is that we give them all crystals."
-my uncle in reference to the lack of population growth
in littleton (i spit soda on my shirt and laughed for two minutes)

last night filled me with mixed feelings...i wish him all the best but
for my own selfish reasons i wish he was staying. we had fun, we
drank ourselves silly, reunited with mutumbo, had an outdoor
adventure in the middle of the night (cold even without stepping
into the lake). it was just as it should have been. it ended with
breakfast though, which is the best way to say goodbye.

miss the brother too, he is having fun without me. he better be
taking pictures.

i just want to do everything.
but for now i am going to have a smoke and watch a dollar horror
movie which appears very promising but i may have to turn off if i
get too scared.

temptation by new order (i can't remember if i have posted this
before but even if i have it deserves to be posted twice)
everyman everywoman by yoko ono

i have got to get out of boulder.

my heart is all a flutter with the see-saw life.
i feel like i could break
or explode
but i certainly cannot exist in the middle of the spectrum of emotion.
who wants to be a middleman anyway?
IAMINAFUCKINGDIONYSIONMODEOFOPERATION
IAMAFUCKINGCYCLONETHUNDERSTORMNIGHTMARE
IAMPROWLINGLIKEACATINACAGE
i got so excited that i fell down and i hurt so bad
i thought i broke my uterus.
i think its okay though
i was just being dramatic.

songs to go mad to:
postcards of a painting-maximo park
the windmills of your mind-dusty springfield
soft-kings of leon

dance until your feet rot and fall off.

Little yellow spider, laughing at the snow
Well maybe that spider knows something that I don't know
'Cause I'm goddamn cold
-Devendra Banhart

i wish you were my creature...

i am in the dreamyist mood but I don't want to sleep.
i keep hearing people's voices even though everyone's
asleep and I feel like drawing or writing or something.

i will eventually conqur this winter.

"I am your neighbor and a liar." -The Science of Sleep

Best Valentine's Day Album Ever:
Go Away Little Girl-Lawrence Welk
("wonderful, wonderful" hahahaha)

it is raining
which makes my heart break
for thinking about
one night
over and over again
this affection swallows me whole...

a new poem, written in the absence
of the person the poem is about

the mind
lush and tulmultuous
as a forest
sweet muddy ground
the smell of wet dirt
like the smell of skin
nerves tangled
twist through the skull
permanant impressions of nature
like lines around the eyes
air fragrant with greenery
that has been slightly trampled
by the forest creatures
their noises
shriek from a distance
yet never reveal their location
this forest will swallow whole.

"I think my days at Grey Gardens are limited." -Grey Gardens

Joanna Newsom-Ys (the whole album)