Really would like to escape, please.

see Fast Car as performed by Xiu Xiu

Cannot sleep. Completely fixated on ridiculous assumptions that I am making about history. Panic has struck though me that I have made a perilous decision standing at my bookcase. Why didn't I try all the million times? FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I need to sleep but I am thinking of person who I have not seen in so long....and am unlikely to ever see again.....regret is a horrible thing in the early morning when one should be sleeping. F.f.Ff.f.f.f.f.f.f.f.f.f.ff.f.f.f.f.f.f.f

Clearly I have gone mad.

I imagined your face made out of breakfast food, with eggs over easy for eyes and bacon for a mouth (and I wanted to eat you up).

It may not be productive to pine for things that never happened, but neither are the things that are really happening. Fantasy is the loveliest place to leave the mind.

see:

We Got to Get Out of This Place by Eric Burdon & the Animals

With a Girl Like You by the Troggs

Then He Kissed Me by the Crystals

"Going Garbo", if only so I can say the phrase.

I love abandoned buildings and breakfast, we all understand eachother. I should probably not try and discuss the politics of the Middle East after four drinks, I should stick to television and charming stories.

Suspicion - Terry Stafford

so wonderful, stuck in my head and I am grateful. It is everything else in my head that I would like to do away with....

willfully distraught.

am recluse again. using books as coasters. diligently speaking to mirror.

I am close to some type of break, whether it be descent or incline has yet to be decided.

having feelings but one's that are not useful. just terribly distracting and cause me to well with regret.

memories of things that most likely didn't happen the way i remember them but still make me swoon:

peach, plum, pear - joanna newsom

moving - kate bush

it was a wonderful musical affair....

Not sleeping, listening to swan lake.

Will imagine that it is raining and I have something that I am fixated on.

Please something, happen soon.